My nephew was ignored and given the “second class treatment” in a phone shop. He felt humiliated, belittled, hurt, upset, and angry – understandably so! He decided to let off steam through his blog, venting his hurt and pent-up emotion in words to be shared with others – unwisely so!
His story triggered an instant condemnation from a close and dear friend on another continent who scathingly accused him of being a racist, ending up with him immediately apologizing and deleting his “offending” story. What a shame – all so unnecessary. (And the original offending player is probably still about his business happily continuing with his brand of customer etiquette totally unaware of what he started - not that if he was he would be any different. We have to accept that there are people like that, even sales people - in every community!)
As for his offending story, when I read it I thought he was a bit “uncaring” in his choice of words – but racist, I didn’t think so. Perhaps because he is my nephew or perhaps because I wasn’t at the “receiving” end, although the narration did strike me as being less-than-wisely written on several counts.
Firstly, it touched on the race difference of the players as opposed to merely focusing on the despicably poor behaviour (perpetrated by whomsoever); secondly, it was written while the hurt and anger were still very much in control of him rather than the other way round; and thirdly, not much thought had been given to the likely reactions his words might create in some readers, (which in a sense speaks for naivety or perhaps even sincerity and trust – a weird contradiction – but this is not in any way advocating hypocrisy, merely emphasizing the need always for thought, balance and restraint).
What a wise and useful word, restraint!
It helps us strike a balance between succumbing to our runaway feeling and the need to be mindful of others and the reality of our being merely a small part (though, of course, always and in every case, very important part) of the society that we live in.
His story triggered an instant condemnation from a close and dear friend on another continent who scathingly accused him of being a racist, ending up with him immediately apologizing and deleting his “offending” story. What a shame – all so unnecessary. (And the original offending player is probably still about his business happily continuing with his brand of customer etiquette totally unaware of what he started - not that if he was he would be any different. We have to accept that there are people like that, even sales people - in every community!)
As for his offending story, when I read it I thought he was a bit “uncaring” in his choice of words – but racist, I didn’t think so. Perhaps because he is my nephew or perhaps because I wasn’t at the “receiving” end, although the narration did strike me as being less-than-wisely written on several counts.
Firstly, it touched on the race difference of the players as opposed to merely focusing on the despicably poor behaviour (perpetrated by whomsoever); secondly, it was written while the hurt and anger were still very much in control of him rather than the other way round; and thirdly, not much thought had been given to the likely reactions his words might create in some readers, (which in a sense speaks for naivety or perhaps even sincerity and trust – a weird contradiction – but this is not in any way advocating hypocrisy, merely emphasizing the need always for thought, balance and restraint).
What a wise and useful word, restraint!
It helps us strike a balance between succumbing to our runaway feeling and the need to be mindful of others and the reality of our being merely a small part (though, of course, always and in every case, very important part) of the society that we live in.
As for racism I believe we all have it in us, somewhere in some corner, for basically it is no different than simple bias for one’s own, be it friend, family, clan, associate, country, religion etc. – only that it seems to take on such a grotesquely hideous and contemptuous connotation when it comes to race, making it utterly contemptible. And rightly so because of its far-reaching emotive power, even transcending nations’ borders.
Thus the wisdom and usefulness of restraint – which should be applied in every case when airing our views, and making judgment and criticisms of others... including of this young man’s inadvertence.
1 comment:
well put kind sir...
An article written with wisdom and time to refect.
Restraint.. much like 'The Force', requires a Jedi Master who trains an Apprentice and takes years to fully master.
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